slucid dreaming scary

In the past 11 days two things changed for me First, I started watching ‘Curb your enthusiasm’ which, if you ask me, is an absolute masterpiece of a series. Larry David is a genius not because he created Seinfeld but for making the life of a bald, 50+-year-old rich man worth watching. I wonder if I might turn into a less funny version of the character that Larry plays in the series if I have enough money!

This could not possibly explain my immediate concern- a series of very bad dreams.

This is not a joke. I’ve been having these very concise, sometimes lucid, bad dreams that are getting worse each passing night. It’s hard to pinpoint a specific reason as I haven’t had any emotional or physical strain in this period and the dreams just appeared out of the blue. The only thing that I can really think of is a new set of curtains which I brought- the second major change.

The Curtain

For the most part of my life, I’ve always had a room close to the road. People in the city might relate to this as this means you get used to a certain amount of moving light in your room and the sounds of vehicles at night. In my case, I live just by the NH87 which connects major tourist and industrial centers like Kochi, Munnar, Madurai and Rameshwaram, and you can understand how much the night traffic here is. As an early bird, I liked to keep the curtains thin so that I could wake up with the sun as well.

In 2017, I moved to Bangalore, and that kind of disrupts the cycle won’t it. I slept late and woke up late, and the habit stuck. Back home in March, I was already distant from the morning sun. The thin curtains really didn’t compliment my new sleeping habits but I stuck with them for old time’s sake (too lazy).

To be frank, my sleep cycle did get better and instead of 2 AM, I was sleeping at 12- 12:30 AM, and the intermittent Kerala rain showers really did help. However, the sun has been really bright the past month and I was waking up earlier than I liked. So I got new thicker curtains installed 11 days ago.

Things go dark

Literally. I started writing this article in October 2020 and had forgotten all about it. The only thing I clearly remember clearly is that I was scared that night and the two nights after that. I haven’t been that scared since!

I initially thought that the pitch-darkness created by the new curtains had something to do with the dreams. Like I was achieving some kind of heightened state of sleep. In all my 25 years, I’ve never been alone in a room where all my senses were asleep. There was no light, no sound, and surely, nothing to feel. However, what transpired was far too surreal to blame on the curtain or my sense.

The Dream

Have you ever been in a dream where there are two of you? An exact replica of yourself who is you but also, very clearly, not you.

I almost shat myself on the first day that the dreams appeared, where I was overlooking myself sleeping from the corner of the bed. I remember having a bad dream, waking up, and feeling thirsty. I sat up but have no recollection of ever standing up. Usually, there is water just next to my bed so I had no reason to get up anyway.

However, happy to be awake and out of a seriously bad dream, I began walking nonchalantly towards to Kitchen. As I neared the door, a strange realization struck me that the room was dimly lit even though I had not switched on any lights. Something felt wrong, really wrong! The walls felt fuzzy and my vision was narrow. It was as if was looking through a binocular.

I immediately looked back to the source of the light and strangely enough, I hadn’t moved an inch. I was still near my bed but now, perplexed at the sight of this very familiar face sleeping on my bed. I always knew I was a narcissist but this dude seriously didn’t have to rub it in!

It was me, in spectacular 3D, as had never seen before.

Realization struck and the next thing I know, I was awake on my bed- scared speechless.

The Manipulation

The next morning I woke up and immediately wrote snippets of the dream on my ‘Keep Note’ app. The dream felt paranormal and over the course of the day, it is all I thought about. At that time, I didn’t realize what I was subconsciously triggering – A lucid dream.

I began to think over the dream in detail, elaborated on a few details, and even had a discussion with a friend on if he had a similar experience. The worst dream he ever had was being chased by a burning Christmas Pappanji on the night of a new year. I felt bad for him.

I decided to leave things be and not worry about this stupid dream I had.

The Lucid Dream

I woke up the next night at about the same time as last night but this time, I immediately knew what was going on. I was awake and sitting up on my bed and if I look back, I’d see myself sleeping. For some weird reason, I kept thinking to myself I shouldn’t look back. I mean, what if I look back and the dream doesn’t stop? There was no explanation for anything and I didn’t know what I was going through.

I remember getting out of my bed and actually walking. There was no resistance like the previous day and I was completely conscious of this otherworldly experience. I couldn’t, however, open anything or move anything in this space. Neither, could I walk through walls?

Thinking back, if it was my conscious working then I probably should be able to move out of this room. I am familiar with my house and there is no reason for me to be tied up. The whole experience was strangely connected to the other me sleeping on the bed as I moved farther away my vision constantly blurred. I couldn’t move more than my vision permits, which could be due to this confined space I sleep in.

By this time I had seen myself sleeping in the bed albeit at a distance. I felt that I needed to be closer to the person sleeping so as to leave this dream, at least I hoped so. Nonetheless, I was beginning to get more and more scared.

Seeing as to how there is nothing more for me to do, I thought I will wake up. I walked near to the bed, looked staring at my face and nothing happened!

My worst fear had come true. I was stuck in this dream and there was not way to get our. I inched closer and closer to me who was sleeping and began to feel a magnetic repulsion. The kind which I knew if a force myself I could probably reach by got harder and harder as I neared the person sleeping.

Do dreams last this long, I thought. It felt like a whole night had gone by since I entered this dream. How much I tried, I couldn’t get close enough to actually touch the person I was sleeping on my bed.

Eventually, I sat back on my bed close to the legs of the person who was sleeping and the entire space began to implode into me. Next thing I remember is opening my eyes sleeping on the bed. I couldn’t’t move out of fear and it took a bit of time before my I came to my senses.

I couldn’t sleep all night and just as I was about to close my eyes, the dooming thought of another episode kept me awake.

I am officially done with this article!

So this is my 4th attempt trying to write this article. By now, I had forgotten all about the incidents of 2020. I attempted to finish the article in March of 2022, mixing the reality of the dream and adding few vague aspects which I was not sure if I had actually dreamt or is a retelling of my imagination. Strangely enough, whenever I try to recollect the things of 2020, I feel a weird air of uneasiness around me. There is no real explanation, it’s just there!

The night I began to rewrite this article again, I had a slightly different dream with nearly the same concept. This time no one was sleeping, I was just standing in an empty space with the realization that someone was there with me. Again, the dream was inescapable. I couldn’t really move anywhere, and all the sensation was of getting trapped in a small room. I woke up with mild panic and decided not to write this article again. Every time I re-read the article, I am forced into a lucid dream which my psyche instinctively understands.

Now on to my last and final attempt- the 4th one. This article was forever staying as bloat on my article drafts feed as a testament to my inability to complete anything. So with the recent developments in AI, I decided to ask ChatGPT to complete this article as I didn’t have to read through it, and maybe, just maybe, the dreams won’t recur. Safe to say that the experiment failed, and the dream that I endured last night was perhaps the scariest one of the bunch. I am officially concluding the article by briefly describing my account of yesterday’s incident, and I won’t be updating this even if I have a similar dream today. I am not even going to proofread any of this, as I don’t want to re-read any of it and risk the dream coming back today.

So, last night, I completed a few ‘sub-par’ AI written conclusions for this article, played four games in Valorant, and went to sleep. At about 2:30 in the morning, I woke up petrified of what I had just experienced. I was in a dream where I was literally just lying on my back, unable to move an inch. I struggled to move, but my body didn’t move an inch. I tried to move once, twice,..10 times, I still couldn’t move. It was hard to breathe and the only thing that I remember happening around me in a pitchback background was a bunch of small, white beings going about their lives. There is no explanation or help. They seemed to be amused about my situation and even laughed at some point, but they didn’t seem concerned enough to come near me. After struggling for what seemed like an eternity, being constantly mocked by these unknown beings of light or fire, I was somehow able to shift onto my sides. This kind of broke the spell, and I was finally able to run toward the front of my house, which magically appeared- towards the comfort of my family.

It might be hard to believe, but this is what actually happened, and I woke up and pondered over it for 30 minutes. My bedsheet was wet with sweat, and it was all crumbled, showing there was a struggle outside the dream as well. I thought I should tell someone this but decided not to. By three in the morning, I had accepted and made peace with the incident. I decided to go to sleep and face whatever comes next head-on. The dream didn’t return and I slept peacefully.

I write this conclusion with a full understanding of what might happen today night. However, this was something that I had to do, and who knows, there might be closure in store. Fingers crossed.

For anyone who wants to read what ChatGPT suggested the ending of my story should be, give it a read here:

Prompt: I am writing a story called the ‘inescapable dream’ where I am in a scary dream watching myself sleep and having no way to wake up. Based on the first part of the story given below, can you write a compelling story for day 3 with a mysterious, unexpected and exciting ending with a possible explanation that I was going into a very deep rem sleep and seeing my subconscious personified, as the person sleeping was a perfect version of myself?

Day 3:

The dream continued to haunt me every night. The feeling of being trapped, watching myself sleep and not being able to wake up was overwhelming. I couldn’t shake off the feeling of dread and helplessness even during the day. I couldn’t focus on anything, not even the masterpiece that is ‘Curb your Enthusiasm’.

I decided to seek help and visited a sleep specialist. After a thorough examination, the doctor assured me that there was nothing physically wrong with me and that my condition was most likely caused by stress and anxiety. He prescribed some sleeping pills and asked me to keep a dream journal.

I started taking the pills and diligently recorded my dreams every morning. But the dreams only got worse. The replica of myself in my dreams started to look more and more perfect and I couldn’t help but feel envious of him. He was living the life I always wanted, successful, confident and carefree.

As the days passed, I started to have a feeling that the replica of myself in my dreams was not just a figment of my imagination, but a manifestation of my subconscious. My subconscious was showing me the person I could be if I let go of my fears and insecurities.

I was determined to break free from this inescapable dream. I stopped taking the sleeping pills and started to confront my fears head-on. I quit my job that I hated, started a new business and opened up to my friends and family about my struggles.

One night, as I lay in bed, I closed my eyes and willed myself to enter the dream. I found myself standing in front of the replica of myself, who was now sleeping peacefully. I felt a surge of determination and reached out to touch him. As soon as my fingers touched his forehead, I woke up with a start.

I realized that the dream was not a curse, but a blessing. It was my subconscious trying to tell me that I had the power to change my life. I felt a sense of liberation and peace that I had never felt before.

The dream never came back again, but the memory of it stayed with me. It reminded me that I am in control of my own destiny and that I should never be afraid to chase my dreams. The inescapable dream may have ended, but my journey towards self-discovery had just begun.

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